


Green

by we_work_hard



Series: Green [1]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 08:10:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12228957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/we_work_hard/pseuds/we_work_hard
Summary: Shane McMahon keeps being drawn back to visiting the NXT Performance Center by one of the wrestlers who catches his eye: a young AJ Styles.This is a prequel to Room 117, trying to flesh out how AJ and Shane got into that room together. I looked into how the NXT Performance Center works, a little, but forgive me for what I’ve got wrong.Twink AJ is brought to you mainly bythis vidof him with Vince Russo in early TNA, andthis oneof him at CWF.





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Shane sees him, he’s sitting back at the end of the locker room and strapping his legs up, laughing with the guys around him. Shane’s surprised by how young he is compared to the other wrestlers trying out this week. Everyone else has long hair, or beards, tattoos, and that grumpy arrogance that seeps in after working the smaller shows for a few years. But this one’s more like a high school jock, or a frat boy; all-American, with blue eyes and lightly-tanned skin, a big smile.

“So here they are – what do you think, Shane? See any that might make it?” Matt asks jovially, bringing him further into the room to see the boys they have in to train, trying to get a contract at the Performance Center. The chatter dies down as the men start to notice who’s walked in with the head trainer – a McMahon, no less. Shane doesn’t really want the attention or the sucking up that will follow, so nods at the guys confident enough to look up at him while trying to keep his eyes off that kid in the back that looks so out of place here. He hasn’t noticed him, busy laughing at something the guy next to him has said, throwing a rolled-up sports sock at his head.

“Still got a good eye, I see,” Matt says quietly. “That one’s up from Gainesville. Worked a bunch of Indy shows, and some little Podunk Christian promotion in Texas. Green, but solid. We’re expecting good things from him.”

“How  _old_ is he?” Shane notes his snubbed nose and spiky brown hair, the gold cross hanging from his neck. He’s young, but his white and black gear looks old and rough around the edges, like he can’t afford new. His smile is slightly crooked.

“Old enough to be here. Come on, I’ll show you where they train now.”

Just before Shane turns around, the boy looks up and catches his eye, seeming a little startled to see him there. He straightens his mouth out, sits up, and gives a firm nod from across the room. It’s respectful, like how a military kid would do it. Shane smiles and nods back before he goes, raising his eyebrows in curiosity. The boy quirks his mouth in response, then looks back down to adjust his shin-pads, taking a deep breath.

Shane suddenly hopes to himself that the young one from Gainesville will do well this week.

***

The  _second_  time Shane sees the kid, he’s standing in one of the training rings the next day with the other potential recruits, getting ready for drills. He’s kicking his legs out, warming them up while talking to the guy next to him, suddenly crouching to a squat and pulling himself back up to jump from one foot to the other. He’s got his back to Shane, but he stands out even more among the more grizzled wrestlers now they’re in the ring together.

Shane takes a seat to watch them train, keeping inconspicuous. Even though he hasn’t worked in this company for years, people will always know who he is – he can’t escape that. The good thing about that – the staff here will always let Shane in, even though he’s got nothing much to do with the company anymore. He’s down here in Orlando for his  _own_  business interests this week,  _not_ to get back into his father’s. He’s been telling himself that all morning. Yet here he is, in front of a wrestling ring again. He doesn’t really know why.

“Alright guys! Let’s get this thing rolling, okay? Sal, come over here a second.”

The trainer takes one of them over to a corner to show him how to throw himself back into the turnbuckle. Shane lets his eyes go where they want.

The young one’s showing an older guy how he takes a punch, getting him to feint a throw, then slapping him on his side to get the cracking sound as he swings. Shane listens hard to catch his voice amongst all the noises in the training room, hearing a thick Southern twang on “I c’n do that  _all_  day”. Shane didn’t expect such a thick accent to come out of him, and smiles to himself. From over here, he can pick up on the fact the older guy – dyed black hair in a pony tail, tattooed along his arms – is slightly irked at the advice coming from someone with less experience. The older one offers to show the boy how  _he_ does it, slowly leading him into taking an uppercut to the chin, and giving him a stiff cuff to the top of his head to get the sound. The boy doesn’t flinch in his arms at the hit, but just says “Oh, okay, uh huh – wanna see how I do it for a super-kick?”

Shane’s charmed by his gentle pushing back, watching him feign being kicked and lifting his leg up smoothly to slap it while the other wrestler looks at him wryly. He ends up watching their drills for an hour or so, seeing the young man throw himself off of the turnbuckle and whip off of the ropes over and over again – faster than the others and more openly happy to be there. His body is full of energy, well-muscled but not easily tired – Shane can see the strength in it, how he holds himself. He has full control of every limb, every movement clean and quick. But he’s short compared to the others. That’s not going to help him here.

“AJ! Faster, faster – I know you’re only giving me half of what you’ve got! Anthony, I’m sick of your complacency!” 

The guys all laugh at the trainer’s ribbing as they take turns to run, and now Shane knows his name – AJ. And as he gets up to sneak back out, AJ’s eyes catch his movement and he pauses to watch him go. Shane stops to look back at him, expectantly. This time, AJ gives a big grin straight away, still kicking his legs. Shane smiles right back on reflex, as a bigger guy (they’re  _all_ bigger guys) snakes his arm around AJ’s neck and pretends to throttle him. He leaves them to it; telling himself to get back to what he came to Orlando for, not waste more time here. This isn’t his world anymore. He can’t let it draw him back in.

***

But the next day, he finds himself returning to the PC after a business meeting runs short – deciding he’ll catch up with Matt again and bend his ear over lunch. And that’s when he gets his _third_ look at the boy – AJ sitting at a table a few across from him with a group, wolfing down a big plate of food and looking up occasionally to add something to the conversation and cackle.

Matt catches him looking.

“How’s he doing?” Shane nods over to the group.

“The Jones boy? Doing great, getting on well with everyone. Eager to learn. I think a few of the more world-weary guys are a little irritated by him, though.”

“Yeah, I noticed a bit of that yesterday,” Shane says, turning his fork to cut at his food.  

“Oh, you snuck yourself in again, huh?” Matt smirks, wiping his face with a napkin and settling back in his chair to look at Shane. “Feeling the old itch? We could use you here, you know.”

“I’m sure Hunter would be happy with me encroaching on his turf – that’s a  _great_  idea, Matt.” He looks down and runs his fork across his plate, thinking about why he’s here. “No, I’m just… it’s interesting to see guys at the start of their careers. I don’t know, maybe I miss it a little. Hanging out with people backstage, working on the matches. It’s been a long time.”

“Never too late to come back.”

“Hmm.”  

“I better get back to it – you good here? Fancy coming back to look at some of the footage from today?”

“Nah, I’ll just sit here a while and then head out – you go.”

“I’ll see you back here tomorrow?” Matt says, stroking his beard and smirking.

Shane laughs. “Uh, maybe.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you here tomorrow,” Matt says with a knowing grin, pushing himself back from the table and taking his tray with him.

Shane looks up again and catches AJ watching  _him_  this time, his face looking softly curious across the room. When he’s caught, he gives a small smile, quickly checks around the room and looks back to poke his tongue out. Shane lets out a bark of laughter and returns AJ’s smile, before poking his tongue out back at him. AJ crosses his eyes, but Shane can’t do that, so he shakes his head in fake-reproach, crossing his arms. AJ sticks his bottom lip out in a parody of apology, and then Shane apes it, leaning forward over his table. AJ shakes his head and quietly sniggers. They both look away for a second, but their eyes come back together somehow.  

And  _that’s_  when Shane realises he’s enjoying this way too much, and the reason he keeps coming back to the Performance Center. And he’s terrified.  

***

Shane keeps away after that. Four days. Four days of thinking about that boy, trying not to think about that boy. Wondering why this is happening  _now_  when he’s had 45 years of being heterosexual, never having a thought about other men. Happy with his wife, with his kids. His eye always straying to  _women_  when he looks, never men. And certainly not a man half his age. Not a man; a  _boy_ , he has to remind himself.  

But he thinks about that boy at the Performance Center every night when he’s alone with this thoughts in the dark, no distractions. And he has to go back.

***

Shane cries to keep his voice calm and casually curious, not freaked when he rushes into the monitor room to find Matt. “Where’s the Jones kid, I haven’t seen him with the others – is he hurt, out sick today?”

Matt turns around in his chair where he’s sitting in front of the bank of screens, feeding in a live stream from the rings.

“Ah, yeah, Shane; that sucks. He didn’t make the cut – heading home.”

 _What?_ Shane tries to calm himself down and not look like he’s panicking. “What the hell happened, he was the best of the bunch.”

“Not on promo, he wasn’t – higher-ups didn’t like him. Pump your breaks, come and take a look at this a second, I’ll show you.”

Shane takes deep breaths and tries to get control of himself while Matt leans forward to tap at the keyboard, pulling up a series of videos. He presses play on ‘Allen Neal Jones – WrestleMania Promo’.

“ _This is the chance of a lifetime, to finally have the chance to make it on the biggest stage in sports entertainment…_ ”

Shane leans forward to watch, heart sinking. On screen, AJ is nervous, wooden and folksy – not the sweet and cocky mix Shane’s seen in the flesh this week. Shane’s frustrated with how this has turned out – this can be  _worked_  on if given a chance, he knows it can. This can’t be right, this isn’t  _right_.

“Okay, so,” Shane swallows, still struggling to sound normal and unaffected, “Haven’t we given guys a chance before without a good promo? All the guys pushed up to the main roster who can’t string a fucking sentence together? His in-ring work outshone anyone here in this group, Hunter couldn’t see that?”

“Really got a soft spot for this kid, huh?” Matt says with a twinkle in his eye. “Yeah, I did too. He’s a good boy – I could see that. But he’s not right for us.”

Shane starts shaking his head, and Matt puts a hand up to stop him. “Shane. I feel bad for him – he’s got talent. But where’s the charisma, where’s the  _promo_? What kind of gimmick can we put on him? He’s cute, but he’s small. Will the  _girls_ like him? Will the guys? I don’t know. Not for us, Shane –  _that_ ,” he pauses to point at AJ on the screen, “is not WWE. And you know it.”

“Okay, alright,” Shane sighs, nodding. “I just think the idea of what a ‘Superstar’  _is_  is wrong sometimes, that’s all. Where is he now, you sent him home already; he’s gone?”

“Ah, yeah… there’s an issue with that,” Shane raises his eyebrows, in hope… “His plane home got cancelled. Got another arranged for first thing tomorrow. I offered to book him a hotel room for the night, but he said he’ll crash with one of the other guys from the locker room, won’t take the extra hand out from us.”

“Why  _would_ he trust you with that? Why would he trust this place at all? You just shot his dream out of the sky, I bet…” Shane says, wondering if he can find him somehow. 

“See, now you’re just making me feel bad.”

“Sorry, Matt – I just can’t fucking believe this company sometimes.”

“Boy’s probably still in the locker room packing up – you might be able to catch him, offer your condolences… a bounce on your knee, or a tickle under the chin.”

Shane ignores Matt’s attempt to lighten the situation up, his pulse starting to race at the thought he could still catch AJ. Though he can’t think what he’ll do if he does.

“I’m sure he doesn’t want to be any more upset by this place than he already has been – catch you later, Matt.”

“See ya. Oh, Shane?”

Shane stops at the door, trying not to curse.

“Don’t let him cut one of those hellacious promos on you if you find him…”

“You’re an asshole, Matt.” Shane says with a tight smile, trying not to run out of the room.

***

The locker room – will he still be there? Does it really matter if he isn’t? What’s Shane planning to do – offer him a hug? Set up a rival wrestling federation just for him? He doesn’t know, he just… needs to see the boy again, tell him… tell him to keep going, that it’ll work out.  

But the locker,room, when he gets there, has no AJ in it. Other guys are around, nodding their hellos to him before turning back to each other to talk. But no AJ sitting at the end of the room. His locker is empty and hanging open – no spare socks to throw, no beat-up ring gear, no crucifix; no sign he’d ever been here. Shane finds himself reaching down to touch the bench, thinking about what the hell he’d have said if he’d found him.

_I couldn’t stop looking at you this week. I think you have a good heart. I’m a married man with kids, but I loved watching you, and I loved you watching me, too – I don’t know why. Will you stay, catch my eye some more, smile at me?_

“That kid’s outside.”

Shane turns around, jumping at being caught all morose in front of the empty locker.

“Uh, what?”

One of the others trying out – the tall guy with the black ponytail  – knows where AJ is.

“The kid – AJ? He’s outside. Was asking if he could crash with any of us tonight. But we don’t have room. Not even for someone that small.” The guy he’s standing with lets out a mean laugh, undoing his wrist tape.

He gives Shane a sharp look. “You asking him to stay?”

“Maybe. He was good – I noticed him teaching yousome things…”

The guy’s face turns sour, bitter. He puffs himself up.  

“Doubt there’s much he can teach me – unless being an irritant is something you can teach now. He’s out there waiting for his little friends to come back with food so he can wrangle his way into  _their_ room – no doubt he’ll manage to steal one of their beds for the night, bat his little fool eyelashes at ‘em.” He seems to remember who he’s talking to when Shane narrows his eyes.

“He’s outside if you want to catch him, Mr McMahon.”

“Right. Good. Best of luck here, boys – I hope you do well.”

“Thank you, Sir.” They both grumble, turning back to their lockers.

Shane rushes out into the corridor and heads to the front of the building, hoping he’ll catch AJ, just to talk, that’s all. Especially if those idiots in there have upset him. Upset him? AJ can look after himself, Shane’s brain tells him. But his heart tells him AJ is alone, and probably heartbroken right now. And too proud to really ask for the help he needs. He needs more than a room.

And Shane is  _not_ the appropriate person to give him that… but he’s still jogging over to the boy he finds sitting on a bench outside, his bag by his feet, stooped over in a jacket slightly too big for him.

“AJ,” he says, out of breath. He clears his throat and tries again. “AJ – you okay?”

AJ flinches out of his thoughts and looks up, blinking in surprise.

“Holy frick, it’s you… You know my name?”

Shane lets out a laugh in relief at finding him in time, and at the language. He feels light-headed to finally be talking to him. 

“Of course I know your name, Allen Neal Jones – you know mine?”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane kept being drawn back to the NXT Performance Center by one of the wrestlers trying out for a contract in Part One… now the boy’s being sent back home…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AJ is supposed to look like [this](https://we-work-hard.tumblr.com/post/166192870050/twink-aj-styles-talking-about-his-tube-steak) during this chapter, btw

He’s found him.

“AJ – you okay?”

“Holy frick, it’s you… You know my name?” 

“Of course I know your name, Allen Neal Jones – you know mine?”

He’s struck by how different AJ looks in the early evening sun away from the artificial light of the Performance Center. This close, he can see the slight scarring across AJ’s cheeks from what must have been bad skin as a teenager. The gold hoops in his ears. He’s wearing a white cap turned backwards, faded Hollister shirt, and ripped-up jeans that don’t quite look fashionably old. They look like AJ needed this break and the extra money a developmental NXT contract would have given him. He’s well-fed and strong though, clearly takes care of himself – his big scuffed-up hands show he works hard for everything he gets, too. 

AJ gives a smile at Shane using his full name, eyes going from taken aback to warm when they really lock in, catching. They’re light blue, slightly too far apart on his face.

Shane’s getting to see more of the real person, not just the smile and goofing around from tryouts. And the real person in front of him looks… really good. Too good. But mixed in with the attraction he feels a powerful need to help the younger man, reassuring him that his intentions for running out here can be  _right_  and not selfish. Shane will ignore what’s making his pulse speed up; he has to. The guy’s had a huge knock back today, so Shane will see him right, send him on his way, and wish him well. Then he’ll forget the boy he saw at the Performance Center that time that stirred up all those strange feelings.

He takes a stabilising breath and tells himself he can do that. 

But he’s getting caught up in a loop of looking and smiling back instead of making sure the boy’s okay… AJ breaks the contact first though, looking down for a beat, thinking about Shane’s question, then looking back up to give his answer with a teasing spark in the blue.

"You’re the guy that don’t work here but keeps sneaking in. Security in there ain’t too good, they keep letting folks in off the street.”

AJ creases his face up, closing one eye to look up at Shane in the sunlight, smiling his crooked smile. He settles back down onto the bench and folds his big hands together between his legs, waiting for what Shane will say to that.

“I guess that’s right.” Shane feels his own smile getting bigger.

“Annnnd,” AJ draws the word out, “You nodded at me on the first day I was here… And you can’t cross your eyes; I know that, too.”

Shane folds his arms across his chest and nods slowly, pretending to be impressed with the facts that younger man has put together about him so far. “You’re very perceptive, that’s good. Anything else you know about me?”

“Well, you look like Shane McMahon, but…” AJ narrows his eyes and makes to look him over some more, acting like he’s really thinking about it. "Your hair’s different,” he says, smile still teasing and light eyebrows raised. He’s chipper enough to be hitting Shane with all this sass so he must be doing okay after the shitty news, Shane thinks with relief. Okay, that’s a start.

“The grey throwing you off, huh?” Shane smiles, pointing at his hair. 

“Naw, I know you; did soon as I saw you on the first day,” AJ says, dropping the teasing. “And the grey looks okay, I guess.”

“That means a lot to me that you think that, thank you – can I sit?’

"Sure thing, Shane.”

Inside, Shane’s thrilled that AJ feels comfortable enough with him to skip the formalities. But then AJ falters, the easy confidence seeping away. “I mean, uh, Mr McMahon. Sir.”

Shane sits, turning to him to talk. 

“’Shane’ is good. You like ‘AJ’ or ‘Allen’ better?”

“AJ. Yeah. My dad calls me Allen.” His father seems to be a sore point, from the shift of his shoulders. Shane’s not going to make him talk about that.

“Okay; AJ… I wanted to find you, come talk to you for a while. Just make sure you’re okay – alright?“ AJ swallows and nods, relaxing again. Shane craves this connection they’d seemed to have instantly formed earlier in the week, before they’d even spoken. Not to be seen as an authority figure to be kowtowed to. It’s strange to feel so comfortable, and comforted, by a person’s presence like this – someone he doesn’t know at all. But then, AJ seemed to catch on to the feeling, too.

AJ straightens back up. "I need to sign any more forms, I messed up on anything in there?”

“No, no, no – nothing like that. They wouldn’t send me out for that. You’re right; I don’t work there.”

“Guess that’s something we have in common then,” AJ frowns, settling back down. “So, you heard, huh?”

“I did,” Shane can’t help but sigh, angry on AJ’s behalf, noticing how stormy AJ’s eyes have gotten, too. He’s got fire in him – NXT could have used that if they’d taken the time to look for it. “You have somewhere to go? I heard your flight got cancelled – they couldn’t get you another one tonight?”

“There’s a flight for me tomorrow booked already – don’t worry about me, Shane”. He clears his throat at using Shane’s name so casually, squeezing his hands together tighter.

“You staying with one of the guys?”

“Hoping to – just waiting for them to come back.”

“AJ, just come back in. Let the company book you another room.”

AJ lets out a frustrated noise and looks away, shaking his head.

“No.” 

Shane’s not pushy, but then he’s also not used to being told no.

“ _No?_ ”

“Nope. I’m not goin’ back in there.”

Shane sees how firm AJ’s mouth is; stubborn and set on this idea. But Shane’s set on the idea of helping him out, somehow. To make up for what’s happened. To make sure he has a comfortable night. And as some kind of thank you for… Shane doesn’t even know. Smiling at him? Cheering him up? Getting him to at least come to terms with the business he’s been running from for years? Sitting with him for a few minutes?

“Fine, you don’t have to go back in there.” AJ nods at Shane, like ‘ _yes_ , I am not going back in there’.

“But you shouldn’thave to pay for a room, and you shouldn’t have to stay on anyone’s couch, okay? Let me organise you a place to stay tonight, if they’re so terrible,” he offers, nodding his head back at the building behind them.

AJ’s mouth twitches with amusement at the dismissal of the family company, but stops himself. “I told you – I don’t need help.”

“How will you feel, rooming with people who are coming back here to train tomorrow? Can you do that?” Shane asks softly, seeing AJ frown.

“It’ll be sucky…”

“I thought so.”

“But, I don’t take hand outs. Never. I’m sorry to be so rude to ya – I appreciate your kindness right now, I really do. But I won’t take it.”

Shane feels his exasperation rising at the offer being rebuffed.

“AJ – I am not leaving a kid out here waiting for a room he might not get-”

“I’m not a kid,” AJ blurts, incredulous.  

“You are to me,” Shane counters.

“I bet everyone’s a kid to you, though, huh?” the younger man grumbles down to his hand, picking at a hangnail.

Shane lets out a chuckle at the attitude. “Better watch that mouth – I saw your moves in that ring, and I know all the counters.”

“Pffft,” AJ blows a breath out of the side of this mouth, turning his head to look at Shane with a grin again. Seems he doesn’t stay irritated for long. “You wanna wrestle over this?“ He pulls himself upright and slaps his knees. "I wrestled Greco-Roman at High School you know, got a pretty good record. You wanna try me?”

“Hmm, I don’t think I have a good chance of winning, then – High School was a long time ago for me. But then, you’d probably noticed that. What with the hair, and all.”

AJ sniggers, then sighs and scratches at his arm, creasing his face back up. “You ain’t gonna lay off me about this, are ya?”

“Nope,” Shane echoes AJ’s earlier assertion. “Look – the hotel I’m at is pretty good, pretty cheap, so it’s no inconvenience, really,” Shane makes sure to say. It’s  _not_  cheap, he doesn’t stay in cheap hotels, but AJ doesn’t need to know that. He just needs to stop baulking at ‘taking a hand out’, let Shane help him get a place to sleep. And then Shane won’t be tormented by the memory of leaving him out here on his own.

And, hopefully, he won’t be left with this mixed-up feeling. If AJ accepts Shane’s help, will this stop the fascination? Shane looking out for him; trying to be fatherly instead? Maybe Shane’s intentions are partially spurred by his own guilt at wanting to look at him so much; okay. Maybe… maybe this can assuage that. And he can at least partially right the wrong that’s been done by WWE today, kicking a talented guy back out into the world and telling him his dream won’t be coming true.

“Cheap, huh?” AJ says, completely unaware of all the turmoil Shane’s trying to squash down just next to him. He’s onto Shane’s lie about it being cheap, though. “That’s  _perfect_ , then – I’ll pay for-“

“No, you won’t,” Shane takes a breath and really looks at AJ, willing him to understand why he needs to help him.

“They should have taken you on, okay? They  _should_   _have_.”

AJ slumps down a little, taking the words in and believing them. Shane can see in his eyes how much he needed to hear that.

“This wasn’t right. You should be in there and training with them. They made the wrong call today. And I can’t let… Please, let me do something for you. Please.”

AJ’s eyes gaze over Shane’s face, considering. After a few seconds, he nods. “Okay. But only because you won’t let up. And I wasn’t brought up to be rude to my elders.”

Shane can’t stop himself from laughing again, rubbing a hand over his face and nodding back at AJ, taking in his mockingly serious look.

“You really do have a mouth on you, don’t you? Well, that’s okay. I need food – you can recommend something quick and horrible to me in the car, I bet. And maybe if you eat it’ll stop that mouth of yours sassing me so much.”

“I doubt if anything can stop that. But you can try.”

***

"Your taste in music is terrible, ya know.”

Shane’s driving to the hotel with AJ in the seat next to him finally, both windows open and blowing cool air through the hot car. AJ’s taken his cap off to ruffle his hair, slumping back in the seat with one arm hanging out over the door. He’s scrolling through Shane’s iPod and curling his lip.  

“’Debussy’? What in the heck is that?" 

And AJ allowed him to take him to get food. AJ’d wanted to go to Sonic for a cheeseburger and a milkshake… which was disgusting, actually, but Shane was in the mood for disgusting. A self-administered punishment for enjoying being around AJ so much, perhaps.

"Oh, shoot; now look at  _this_ – you like ‘Tony! Toni! Toné!’?! We’re listenin’ to that, right now…”

AJ’s cheered up a lot since he’s had the opportunity to look through Shane’s iPod and laugh at his music collection.

“Are you even old enough to remember that song?”

“I’m not that young,” AJ scoffs with a smile hitting play and sitting back in his seat, tapping his fingers against the leg closest to Shane. 

He emphasises the 'g’ on 'young’, and his ‘I’ comes out as ‘Ahh’. Shane’s always loved Southern accents, and AJ’s is almost guttural in its thickness, but smooth. He could listen to him talk for hours. So far, he’s been treated to hearing AJ’s thoughts on Shane’s music taste, and the story of how he came to his faith a few years ago during a difficult time at college. They’ve also covered the current state of politics in America (AJ thought Bush was underrated as a President. Well, okay – Shane hasn’t heard much different over dinner with this parents), and conspiracy theories AJ is into (the moon landing, the earth maybe being flat, the Avril Lavigne theory… that’s not one Shane’s heard in detail before. He isn’t convinced. Also, he doesn’t really know who Avril Lavigne is. Or was). Plus, AJ’s favourite topic – wrestling.

“You must have met people younger than me working in the business.”

“Sure – but they knew the earth is round; they seemed older in that way.”

“All I’m sayin’ is, when we go our separate ways? Look into it, man.”

Their separate ways. That’s not something Shane wants to think about right now. Right now, he’s got a light feeling in his heart, one he hasn’t had for years. AJ is funny, and a goofball, and… Shane’s trying to ignore the other feelings he’s still getting, having him so close to him. He wants to look after him and see him fed and housed for the night, that’s all. If he likes talking to him, well, AJ’s a likable guy. And if he likes looking at him, when he turns his eyes to the side, well… Shane hasn’t come up with a reason for that. At least not one he wants to examine in any detail.

The gold of his wedding ring winks in the sun as he turns the wheel and the guilt flares up again. He knows  _exactly_  why he likes looking at AJ so much. AJ is… beautiful. That’s the only word Shane can come up with for him. He’s like the statues his wife dragged him around Florence to look at a few years ago – perfect in form; a masculine kind of beauty. He hadn’t understood that concept at the time, didn’t think it was possible for the male form to be beautiful. But AJ is. He’s vital; full of life and silly jokes. AJ’s turning out to be like Shane’s version of cat nip. If Shane was capable of purring, that’s what he’d be doing right now.

His phone starts ringing. AJ looks at the name on the screen from where it lays on the dashboard between them.

“That your wife?” That sobers Shane up.

“Guess so.”

“How long you been married?”

“Long time.”

“You’ve got kids, right?”

“Yup. All boys.”

AJ sits back in his seat and looks more serious, all the giddiness sucked out of the car.

“You gonna answer it?”

“I’ll call her back later.”

AJ crosses his arms, waits for it to ring out. He starts to talk quietly when the phone goes silent – Shane struggles to hear him over the music in the car.

“I always wanted to get married, have kids n’ get settled… I’ve got a girlfriend, been with her for about a year now. Met her at a church social.”

He pauses to swallow, lick his lips. “I love her, I think.”

Shane wonders why he’s being told this, and turns to flick his eyes to AJ and then back to the road. “You only ‘think’?”

“I don’t know,” AJ shrugs, looking ahead blankly. “How  _do_  you know?”

“You just… want to be with that person all the time, I guess. Can’t imagine not being with them. That’s how I felt.”

AJ doesn’t answer, just pulls on his lower lip.

“You feel like that?”

AJ’s face stays blank as he replies, eyes sliding to Shane and then back away. “Sure.”

They don’t talk again until they get to the hotel.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane's convinced AJ to let him help with getting a place to sleep for the night, and we left them in the car...

“AJ, we’re here.”

They’ve arrived at the hotel, but AJ’s fallen asleep in the car, head flopped towards Shane, mouth slack, short hair soft and tufted without the cap covering it up. If there wasn’t a valet standing by Shane’s open window silently willing them to hurry up and get out, Shane might take the time to watch the other man quietly snoring in his car for a few minutes, try to memorise his face and figure out why he likes looking at it so much before they part ways for good. But there’s no time.

“AJ,” Shane shakes him by the shoulder gently. “We’re here.“ AJ squirms a little in his sleep, body resisting waking up. 

Shane squeezes AJ’s shoulder, seeing his eyelids move in response. “Hey. Here we are, AJ. Wake up now.”

AJ gives a little snort and opens his eyes, looking so confused Shane feels a wave of tenderness rush over him. But there’s no time for that either.

“Sorry, baby – gotta get out of the car now, can’t sleep in here,” he whispers.

AJ blinks, blue eyes bright, and sighs, still looking fuzzy and confused.

“Already?” he grumbles back, voice scratchy with sleep. 

“Yep. This is it.”

AJ frowns, still not quite with it. “So soon.”

He sounds sad. He must really enjoy sleeping in cars.

“Not that soon. You slept for a while.”

AJ closes his eyes again. “Dang.“

“Hey, up you get now – can sleep in your room,” Shane says, gently nudging his shoulder again, noticing how warm and good he feels, then making himself take his hand away. 

“We’re not sharing?” AJ asks, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles.

“No,” Shane laughs, enjoying the lack of filter AJ has when he’s still halfway in dreamland.

“I booked you your own room when you were ordering the food earlier. You don’t have to share.”

AJ frowns some more, thinking.

“I’m hungry.”

“Again?”

The valet at his door is getting antsy, so Shane figures he better speed up getting AJ out of the car already instead of trying to selfishly soak up more seconds with him when he’s like this, close-up and quiet.

“How about this; I’ll do you a deal. There’s a restaurant in there. I’ll point you towards the food if you wake up now?” 

The other man grumbles while stretching, blinking to awareness and reaching for the door. “Okay. But it ain’t my fault your conversation put me to sleep." 

“Still sassing me when you’re tired, huh?” Shane shakes his head, smiling even though he’s starting to feel sadness creep in. “What did I tell you about that mouth?”

“Find me somethin’ bad that tastes good and I’ll stop giving you a hard time,” AJ shoots back with a big toothy grin, putting his cap back on and pulling himself out of the car.

Shane’s got himself more time, just a little more before it’s over. 

***

AJ’s dipping his fries into ketchup, elbow up on the table so he can lean over his plate, table manners forgotten. Shane’s amazed he can fill his stomach with such greasy trash again so soon. He’s all checked into his room– was still a little fuzzy and quiet when they were at the front desk, so no last minute griping over allowing someone else do something for him. Just silent acceptance of his room key while rubbing the back of his neck and yawning. Then a smile when Shane pointed out the hotel restaurant.

Shane wasn’t hungry, but AJ’d insisted on buying him a drink at least before he went up to his own room for the evening. “Come watch me eat,” he’d said. Shane wasn’t going to turn that offer down, no matter how much AJ talks with his mouth full. Shane’s sitting back in the booth with a beer, and watching AJ demolish his meal. The boy jams three fries into the side of his mouth, chewing with his mouth open and talking through it. 

“You sure you don’t wanna eat? You can eat offa my plate, you don’t want a whole meal – I don’t mind sharin’.”

“And risk you biting at my fingers, with how fast you’re working through that? No way, I’m staying over here where it’s safe.”

AJ pretends to be insulted. “You sayin’ I’m a pig?”

“I’m saying I respect your speed.”

“Well, thank you,“ AJ says, tipping his cap. Hasn’t taken that back off to eat. "So… I’m guessin’ you’re up in the luxury penthouse suite or somethin’ right?” He teases, licking ketchup from his full bottom lip.

Shane gets snagged on that sight for a second. “Hmm? Oh, uh, no – not quite the penthouse. But one of the upper floors, yes.”

“How long you stayin’?”

“My business here is pretty much done, probably flying back out tomorrow, too.”

“And you live in New York?”

“Yes. And you’re in Gainesville for now?”

“Uh huh.” He looks down at his plate, using his tongue to clean his teeth. “You ever find yourself down that way?”

“Not really. Haven’t had much of a reason to.“ Shane desperately wishes he could come up with one, but that’s a bad route to go down.

“You could come and see one of my shows, if you’re ever in the same town,” AJ says, grabbing a napkin to wipe at his face.

Shane smiles at the impossible offer, and AJ not giving up on his dream. “Which shows do you work, then?”

AJ grins back at him and clears his throat, crumpling up the napkin. “Do a lot with CWF in Texas; Christian promotion, that one.“

“Oh, right – Matt mentioned that. How does that work; the wrestlers have to be Christian?”

“You been asking the trainers about me?” AJ smirks, eyes lighting up.

Shane splutters a bit, caught out. “Ah, well…”

AJ lets him off the hook on that one and answers the question.

“Yeah, kind of have to be believers to wrestle there. We testify a bunch between the matches, that kind of thing.”

“And you’re comfortable with that?”

AJ sits up in his seat, resting his hands on the table in front on him. “Well, sure. I’m proud of my faith, it keeps me on the right path. And if I can share that with people who might be struggling with where their path is leadin’ them, I’m doin’ a good thing.”

With how much he likes to talk, Shane bets AJ’s good at testifying. He wishes he could go and see him give his speeches about faith in that slightly raspy voice. 

“Maybe you should be a preacher instead of a wrestler…” he says, taking a drink of his beer, keeping eye contact with the other man.

“You think I should give up on the wrestling?” AJ asks, joking along, but his eyes are a little wary again, remembering why they’re in the hotel together tonight; not getting his NXT contract. Shane wants to kick himself for making the joke.

“Never give up on wrestling. I’m serious. Don’t let this set you back; keep pushing. You’ll get there. I saw you, remember? You’re special.“ Shane quickly grabs his glass again and takes another drink, wishing he hadn’t let that last part out, hoping it wasn’t too much to say out loud. He really means it. For the wrestling, but he sure doesn’t want AJ picking up on the rest as well. He just needs to get himself through this; get AJ in his own room and settled for the night, then move on. Without having freaked the poor guy out, without having made himself look like a fool. He’s here to do right.

AJ’s stopped eating and he’s just looking back at Shane, taking in what he’s being told, looking like he really cares about Shane’s opinion. Gives a small nod, accepting the words in, starts rubbing at the table with a finger, looking down at it.

“That means a lot to me, you sayin’ that,” And then quieter, still aimed towards the table, “You’re a good man you know, Shane.”

It’s like he’s been punched. "Thank you.” He needs to get it back to playful, chest feeling tight. “You just need to, I don’t know… cut out all the junk food.”

AJ drops the serious mood, starts laughing, looking at Shane in happiness. "Ha! I don’t need another daddy you know, you can’t tell me what to do. Makin’ a man feel beholden to you for being so kind to ‘im is one thing…” he says.

“You don’t owe me anything.”

“I know,” AJ nods, sitting back in the booth in a sprawl and looking down at his lap. “But, thank you." 

"And you bought me this drink here,” Shane reminds him, tapping his glass and bringing AJ’s eyes back up to his. “Which I needed after listening to your snoring in the car.”

“I don’t snore!”

“You do.”

“Nuh-uh; no way.”

“No one ever told you that before? You really get going after a while – I couldn’t hear my terrible music anymore at one point.”

“Ha, then I did you a favour, didn’t I? Anyway, I’m a good Christian boy, remember? No one’s been that close to hear me snore.”

“Lucky for them. Not so lucky for me.”

AJ throws his napkin at Shane.

“Now who should watch their mouth, huh?”

Shane’s getting caught up in the grinning and mischief and needs to pull himself back before he starts throwing things at AJ to make him sit up further and smile wider. He gestures to the half-full plate.

“You done already? Don’t want the rest of that?”

“Nah, I wasn’t really that hungry,” AJ says, calming back down.

“What? You said you were. Lying to me already…” Shane tuts.

“Aww, now I only did that because I wanted you to sit with me a while more,” he says, leaning further forward and twisting his mouth up in a repressed grin.

“That so?”

“That is indeed so – didn’t want to go up to the room yet." 

"Just avoiding boredom, huh – not wanting my fantastic company? Well, that hurts." 

“Your company’s okay, Shane.”

“Being with you is a rollacoaster, AJ,” Shane answers, raising his glass and finishing the last of his drink. Now’s the time, nothing left to keep them here anymore. “I guess we’re done, then – you ready to go?”

AJ looks hesitant for a second. “Yeah, sure. I’ll settle up here – would you take my bag and wait by the elevators for me, though?” 

“Yes, Sir.”

***

The goodbye had been both worse than Shane had anticipated, but better than he’d feared. He hadn’t slipped AJ his number and begged him to call him, for one thing. But it felt like being torn away from something he really needed. So now he’s up in his room, drinking something strong from the minibar and replaying the so long, nice to meet you, best of luck, no worries about the room, have a good flight, have a nice life, over and over.

He’d waited by the elevators with AJ’s bag, trying to fight the sick feeling that was growing. Watched AJ loping towards him from the restaurant a few minutes later, smiling but looking a bit nervous and awkward as well. Out of place in the lobby in the sleeveless shirt, his eyes half hidden by his hat. Didn’t seem to be noticing his surroundings though, just looking back with his hands in his back pockets.

“So,” he’d said on a sigh, stopping in front of Shane. “I guess this is it then, huh?”

“I guess it is.” Their eyes were getting snagged up again somehow, Shane having to break it. AJ seemed sort of lost, but trying to look cheery. Not doing the best job, but if cheery is what he wanted, Shane would follow his lead.

“Here’s your bag – you’re on the seventeenth floor, right?”

“And you’re on…” AJ’d made to look at Shane’s keycard while taking his bag back, making him hold it up and show him the number, “…not on the seventeenth floor, uh huh.”

“Told you it wasn’t the penthouse. Here’s the elevator, room for us.”

“Shane,” AJ’d quickly grabbed his arm while they got on, pulling him next to him so they’d be standing together in the group of people getting on.

He’d started talking fast, head tipped back slightly to catch Shane’s eyes because of the height difference. “Thank you for today, seein’ me right-”

Shane had stopped him. “Don’t. You don’t have to thank me.” AJ’d sighed, rubbing the back of his neck and flushing with something, looking frustrated. “AJ – Just keep on going, promise me? Promise me I’ll see you wrestling again one day? On TV next time, right?”

AJ’d shifted back a little, taking a breath; calming himself down again. “You will,” he’d nodded; resolved. “I promise.”

“Good. Good. Now here’s your stop – go get some sleep, get ready for that flight tomorrow.” Shane couldn’t stop the eye-contact, seeing how panicked AJ suddenly looked, feeling it in his chest as well. He had to say something of what AJ’d given him that day.

“It was really, really nice to meet you.”

“It was really nice meeting you too,” AJ had said in a deeper voice, taking Shane’s hand and squeezing it in a strong shake, before letting go to step through the opening doors, turning to look back. Maybe he’d caught how sad Shane was, because he’d poked his tongue out at him at the last second, making him laugh when the doors closed and the car started moving up again. 

And that was it.

Shane looks at his glass of whisky and decides he’ll sleep in late tomorrow, sleep through AJ leaving the hotel so he won’t be tempted to run out to find him again. Because why? What good would it do? He did well – he did right today.

A good daddy-type figure, isn’t he, looking after the younger boys in the business, he thinks, shaking his head to himself and taking another stinging swallow. That’s who he is. A dad, a husband. A mentor, an old guy. Maybe that’s why AJ was looking at him so trusting, so interested in talking to him. Maybe AJ needed that today, someone older and wiser to talk to. It’s all a lie though; AJ doesn’t know what’s in his head. And thank Christ for that. 

The other stuff, Shane’ll battle through and beat himself up about in private. Maybe… maybe he’ll give watching gay porn a go sometime. Beat himself off to it. Maybe he should watch some young, muscled, wholesome-looking guys doing bad things to each other and hate himself for it afterwards. There must be websites for married men who’ve found themselves suddenly lusting for younger guys and need a private release that won’t tear their family apart.

What would AJ think of him if he knew? Saying Shane’s a ‘good man’ earlier – he’s not a good man. He’s tried. But that’s not going to last. He’s filled with disgusting thoughts about what he’d do to AJ if he had the chance, it’s all there in his head, waiting to be thought and obsessed about. It’ll all come flooding in if he lets it – but he can’t let it tonight, when AJ’s in the same hotel thinking he’s such a nice man. 

His skin is prickling with need, but he’ll ignore it. Maybe tomorrow. Probably tomorrow. Right now, he’ll get to bed, get some sleep, and hope he doesn’t dream.

***

He’s woken up by a rapping on his hotel door, noise travelling through the entrance to the bedroom and the suite beyond it. He feels like he’s had no sleep at all, but if housekeeping’s here, he must have had his fill. He gets up and straightens the pants and loose t-shirt he’s been sleeping in and pads across the soft carpet to open the door and ask for more time. But it doesn’t feel like morning, it’s too quiet. 

When he opens the door, it turns out he’s right. Time hasn’t ticked over until tomorrow yet. 

AJ’s standing in front of him, still in his clothes – looking harried and flicking his eyes down the corridors, rubbing a hand through his hair. 

“Uh, sorry to wake you…” Stress is radiating off of him and Shane goes into panic mode. 

“AJ, you okay? You alright, what’s wrong – something happened-” 

“No. No, nothing’s happened. I just, oh God-“ he cuts off and steps from foot to foot, looking down the corridor again, and breathing heavy, lifting his hands up behind his head, face creasing up in worry about something. Then his eyes take in what Shane’s wearing. 

“So that’s what you wear to bed, huh?” he struggles out, hands still clasping at the back of his head, chest rising up and down rapidly. 

“What? Uh, yeah… it’s comfortable…” AJ came up to talk about his sleep wear? What’s going on? “What did you think I’d wear to bed?” 

“I dunno,” AJ shakes his head quickly. “Matching PJs, or somethin’? Hadn’t thought about it. Oh God, what am I doin’,” he huffs out, bending over and putting his hands on his knees, sucking in breath. 

“AJ, stop – it’s okay, it’ll be okay, come here,” Shane assures him, reaching out to gently pull him upright again, try and get him to come in and sit down. But as soon as he touches a shoulder, AJ’s breath hitches and Shane finds himself with his arms full of him instead. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa; okay, here, take it easy – it’s okay. It’s okay,” Shane soothes, rubbing his hand down AJ’s back and closing the door behind him. The boy isn’t letting go, seems to need the contact right now. His height means his face is pressed into the side of Shane’s neck, and his breathing is laboured, like he’s trying not to let something out. Shane can’t feel tears, but the rasping sobs being held in tells him they’re coming. It’s not like a boy needing a father figure, but more like a man who needs comfort from someone he’d connected with today, someone he trusts. So Shane holds him tight and rocks him, rubbing his back some more, murmuring into his ear. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I know it’s hard; I know. It’ll be okay. You don’t have to worry, okay?” AJ lets out a little noise against his neck, taking deep breaths to calm down, grasping Shane harder around his shoulders.

“It’ll come,” Shane says softly against his hair. “It didn’t today, but it’ll come.”

AJ shifts in his arms, and Shane lets their faces rub against each other, lets his skin be a comfort. It’s when AJ moves his head and grazes the corner of his mouth against Shane’s, short eyelashes fluttering against his cheek, that Shane figures out what kind of comfort AJ came to find him for.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane has got AJ a room at the same hotel, and they've said their goodbyes. But AJ's come knocking at Shane's door in the early hours of the morning, and seems upset...

AJ’s breath huffs out against the side of his face as he nuzzles in closer, the bristle that’s starting to grow on their jaws scrapes. Shane can feel it and hear it all like a low vibration, every sense somehow stronger, everything amplified in the quiet. All the little noises; AJ’s swallows, his laboured breathing, even how he’s shaking a little. The feeling of AJ’s fast heartbeat against his chest, the pulse against his neck. The smell of him, too; the salt underneath the cologne and cheap soap that’s wearing off after the day. It’s so still inside the room and out in the sleepy early hours of the morning, and AJ’s come to find him.

As a soft mouth brushes against his face again, just quick enough to still be unintentional and innocent, Shane’s skin tingles with gooseflesh and his groin tightens up in reflex.

“Ah, uh – here you go, here,” Shane says quickly, trying to sooth, but voice coming out in a husky rasp. He reaches up to uncurl the boy’s arms from around his shoulders, get him away – his warmth, his pulse and smell – get him a safe distance away so he won’t realise what he’s doing.

He moves to lead AJ towards a chair, trying not to touch too much, being responsible. But AJ’s not moving.

“It’s okay, it’s okay; here…” AJ won’t look at him, frozen in place since Shane let go. Shane wants to help him, wants to hold him again, so badly. Push AJ’s face back into his neck, feel the breath against him, curl him up against his body, so close. He prickles with the need, pushes the ache down, but lets his hand hover by AJ, still feels that vibration.

He can be a good man, he can – he has to be. He keeps the hand where it is.

“Come and sit down, AJ, huh…” he stops to clear his throat. “It’s been a tough day, I know… here,” he murmurs, pulling a chair forward and gesturing AJ towards it. “Let me get you a glass of water, we can talk; it’s alright-”

“You called me ‘baby’,” AJ interrupts, quiet and rough.

_Baby…_

In the moment of panic that follows, everything looks so vivid to Shane under the half-light from the lamps he’d left on before going to bed. How the light plays across AJ’s bare shoulders, how upset he is, how his eyes glitter. The rise and fall of his chest through the thin material of his shirt, the flushed face, clenched hands, wary stance. And how full the front of AJ’s jeans are – how excited he is, how that’s frozen him still.

Shane feels dizzy – he wouldn’t have called him ‘baby’ out loud; he couldn’t have.

Over the rushing in his ears, he can barely hear AJ continue, hesitant and confused.

“In the car… when you woke me up. You called me ‘baby’,” he looks up at Shane, searching his eyes. “Why’d you call me that?”

Shane didn’t, he wouldn’t. He’s been so careful – he wouldn’t have let that out. 

“I didn’t-”

“Yes you did,” AJ interrupts, nodding once with certainty, staying so quiet, voice thick. “You did… You thought I was too sleepy, but I heard it. I did.” He’s looking at him so confused now, needing an answer, but Shane can’t give it to him, doesn’t know what to say.

“You… you think I’m stupid?” AJ asks, desperate in the face of Shane’s shocked silence, eyes filling up with embarrassment and shame when Shane won’t talk. 

“Think… think I’m dumb?” His voice is getting rougher, eyes starting to harden up with anger along with the tears. “Makin’ out I got the wrong idea? That I came up here for…" he pauses to swallow, won’t vocalise that thought,“…no reason, and you…” He shakes his head, stopping himself, sounding choked up. “This ain’t my fault – this was all you, me comin’ up here to you,” he grits out, jabbing a finger at Shane, nodding to himself more.

“AJ, please-”

“Saw you lookin’ at me that first day in the locker room, you know,” AJ continues. Looking hurt, but sounding bitter. Shane falters back into silence; he would have never thought the AJ he’d gotten to know today could sound so bitter. “Looking over with those kind eyes, making me feel all cared for, somethin’ stupid like that.” He frowns, looking up. “You felt bad for me; that what this was about? Feel sorry for me?”

Shane struggles to find his voice, can’t let him think that. “No – no, AJ; I’d _never_ want you to feel-”

“Because I’m not a ‘baby’; I’m a _man_ ,” AJ interrupts, turning to look at him with venom. “I can look after myself. Been looking after myself this whole damn time. You think I need your kindness? I don’t. I didn’t need any of this, didn’t need you bein’ kind to me,” he spits out, starting to pace the room.

“You must think I’m so pathetic, huh,” he continues. laughing nastily. “Poor freaking kid, lettin’ Shane McMahon pay for a room for ‘im because he can’t afford it himself. Feelin’ sorry for me, lookin’ down on me. Probably meanin’ nothing to you, today, huh. Doesn’t matter how much this meant to me,” he stops to bite his lip, hard, biting down on the embarrassment and how his voice is rising louder and louder. “Boy oh boy, am I stupid comin’ up here to you-”

“Please, Allen-” Shane tries to put his hand on AJ’s arm, calm him down. He’s thrown off.

“ _Don’t_ call me that. You don’t _ever_ call me that,” AJ hisses through his teeth, resentment pouring off of him, not quite replacing the shame he’s fighting through. “You don’t know me – you think you do?”

“AJ, stop now, please,” Shane grabs him by the shoulders, is shoved back again, harder this time, AJ yelling.

“ _Don’t_ tell me what to do. You can’t tell me what to do, you can’t _tell_ me what to-”

Shane locks onto his upper arms this time and holds tight, trying not to shake him to make him listen, break him out of this. AJ struggles, slaps his chest, grits his teeth, but Shane won’t let go, not until he listens. AJ quiets, sucking in a sob. Hanging his head, he finally slumps forward in something like defeat and gratitude, letting Shane hold his weight in his hands.

“Please, please – listen to me now, huh? Just listen,” Shane hurriedly whispers between them, looking at AJ’s bowed head. He lets his hands squeeze for a moment, gets AJ’s eyes to flit up for just a second before flicking down again, not ready for the eye contact. He’s ashamed. But not of the anger or the yelling, Shane can tell that. Embarrassed about getting the wrong idea. But he was right.

“I’m not telling you what to do; I wouldn’t. Please don’t think bad of me, AJ, please,” he pleads. ”I was wrong, I tried to…” He pitches his voice softer, quieter. He has to be honest now. 

“Today meant a lot to me. It did, you were right; you were. I tried not to let you see how much.” Now he’s starting to shake, trying to be as brave as AJ had been, coming here. It’s the least he can do for this boy, who went against everything he knows and believes in to come up here, to him. “You picked up on everything else today; you believe me?”

AJ’s shaking his head, trying again to hold onto the last of his mad. Shane has to make him understand before he sends him away, can’t let him go away feeling worthless the way he seems to – why does he feel so worthless?

AJ whispers, down between them. “I got confused, that’s all. I was stupid, comin’ up here. I’m so stupid…I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t.”

Shane knows what he’s talking about. But he won’t address that, what AJ might have wanted to do when he got here. He’ll ignore it, for AJ’s sake. It’s better that he does, for both of them.

“I know; it’s okay.” He can’t stop himself from lifting a hand and putting it on AJ’s neck, stroking down, feeling the pulse and how he relaxes and sighs, all the panic gone, all the leftover aggression bleeding right out, slow.

He rubs his hand up AJ’s neck then, holding him around his face, rubbing his thumb on his jaw, watching AJ calm at being touched, wet eyelashes getting heavy.

AJ doesn’t need his lies. Shane gets the feeling he’s been pushed away and lied to a lot. Shane won’t do it, too.

But he won’t hurt him, either.

“Don’t be angry at me for pulling away,” he whispers. AJ makes a protesting noise in his throat and frowns, eyes still closed, reaching up to grasp Shane’s wrists in a strong grip, keep his hands right where they are, soothing and petting him slow. Shane shifts himself to keep their bodies apart, just enough.

“You know why I can’t let this happen,” he whispers over AJ’s face, his eyelids. “You know this isn’t right, don’t you? You don’t know what this is.”

Please let me stop this, Shane thinks.

AJ opens his eyes and looks up again, right into Shane’s eyes. Shane can’t believe the look he’s giving him – that’s not a look a good Christian boy should be giving a man like him. It’s vulnerable, and scared… but wanting. It’s expectant, like he wants Shane to show him something. He’s waiting. And Shane wants to give in to him, prove he was right; he wants to so bad.

“I’m too old for you,” Shane whispers in desperation, fighting his own body, fighting that look, and the bone-deep want that’s getting stronger. “I’m married…” AJ looks like he doesn’t care. Shane’s starting to feel the same way. “You’ve got a sweet girl back home you care about. Go back to her and forget this, please”.

AJ frowns at the mention of his girl, that girl he’s not sure he loves, like Shane’s pulling him out of a good dream again, and he doesn’t want to go yet.

Shane firms his voice up, forceful and trying to take control. “You shouldn’t be here in my room – this is a bad thing to do; a bad thing. You shouldn’t be here.”

The boy breathes out, looking hazy, drunk at the closeness. And now… something else. There’s a shift, Shane doesn’t know what it is, doesn’t want to think about what it could be.

“Why?” AJ whispers, eyelids still heavy.

“Why? Why you shouldn’t be in my room?” Shane murmurs back helplessly, rubbing his thumbs on AJ’s jaw again, looking around in worry. He really should let him go, but he can’t seem to stop touching him now he knows how it feels to have his hands on him. 

“What’ll happen…” Shane has to look back into that face, so soft now, mouth slightly open and panting a little. “What’ll happen…if I stay here,” AJ pushes out, eyes dropping heavily to Shane’s mouth. Shane’s groin tightens even further at that, like he’s being squeezed hard between his legs. AJ’s pushing back and misbehaving, just like he has all day.

“I don’t want to go back to my room,” the boy says, looking up and slowly stroking Shane’s hands. “I want to stay here. With you.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We left off with AJ in Shane’s room, looking for a particular type of comfort after his difficult day. He's just asked to stay with Shane for the night...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are approaching smut territory now, btw.

“With me, huh?” Shane shakily replies. AJ’s blue eyes are drawing him in again; they aren’t looking away.

“Yeah. Right here. With you,” he whispers back. 

“I don’t know, AJ…”

AJ smiles, nervous. 

“You don’t want me to waste the money you spent on my room?” he asks with his eyebrows raised, warm breath tickling Shane’s face a little. He’d brushed his teeth to come up here, Shane notices. 

“You can waste my money all you want,” Shane rushes out, making AJ’s eyes sparkle with a bit of mischief under the nerves. And Shane thrills to it, almost breathless with it – this type of honesty. He knows he should pull away now, but…

“I don’t want your money,” AJ whispers back to him with a quick little lopsided grin.

“Yeah,” Shane says, trying to stop a smile. “I picked up on that during the yelling.”

The surprised laugh AJ splutters out is almost too loud for the quiet they’ve created, eyes even brighter now. And Shane laughs back, can’t help it. He hasn’t flirted with anyone for so long. That’s what they’re doing, isn’t it, he realises – they’re flirting with each other. 

“Dumbass,” AJ sniggers. 

It feels natural; like they’ve been doing this since the start. Maybe they have. 

AJ absently strokes Shane’s hand, still on his neck, his jawline, looks down and frowns a little. “I’m, uh, real sorry ‘bout that… got a bit loud back there, didn’t I?” He purses his lips closed to swallow, Shane watches his adam’s apple bob. 

“S’okay. Wasn’t your fault. But hey,” he says quietly, lowering his head a bit to catch AJ’s eyes again, “I thought you weren’t brought up to be disrespectful to your elders, huh?” Shane asks with pretend-disapproval to make AJ laugh again, wondering how he’ll answer that. He doesn’t laugh, though.

“You ain’t that old...” the boy says, eyes getting that skittish look again. “And… like I told you… m’not that young,” he says, ducking his head. Shane can see the blush that spreads across his face, how he swallows again.

Not so innocent, then, Shane realises with shock.

“You’re _not_ -?” 

AJ shakes his head.

“I was 16,” he says shakily, eyes flitting between Shane’s and his mouth, “And dumb, and... I’m supposed to regret it,” AJ rushes out between them, squeezing his eyes closed for a moment at Shane’s hand lightly squeezing the back of his neck in reassurance. “And I say that I do. But… I don’t. I liked it,” he admits on a rumbling whisper. “Why I kept doing it. Going over, after school every day. I told her it was sin, after. But I liked it.”

Shane feels light-headed to hear AJ speak this way, after all the talk about being a good Christian Southern boy today. 

“Not as well-behaved as I thought, then, huh…” Shane tries to joke, not quite managing to keep the tremor out of his voice. 

AJ’s eyes spark up a little again when he catches it, and he fights a smile, quickly putting his head down again for a second to hide it from Shane. When he looks back up, his eyes are earnest. 

“How about if I try _really_ hard to behave. Do I get a reward for that?” he says, with an innocent face. Well, not so innocent. _Pretending_ to be innocent. 

“Only good boys get rewarded,” Shane tells him while their faces drift closer, AJ lifting his mouth to him – what is he even saying, this isn’t language that’s _ever_ come out of his mouth. Shane’s mood dips from enjoying the flirting and closeness, to that feeling of blood rushing downwards again, limbs quickly heavy with want. All those thoughts he was pushing back about AJ crowd right in again – how rough and filthy-cute he looks, trashy and wholesome, all at the same time.

“…not boys like…boys like…”

AJ lifts his mouth closer still; looking nervous. His lips are plush, but cruel and pouty in the way they curve – Shane lets himself touch a little, feels AJ’s shaky breath over his thumb as he rubs at his mouth with it. He has to kiss him; just once, just once. AJ’s breathing faster, and looking at him like that – Shane can smell his sweat, feel the heat of his body under those clothes – and no one will ever know outside of this room, will they, and he’ll have this memory, won’t he? 

He presses their lips together, hard – thoughts dissolving into warmth as the boy responds immediately, plush lips moulding to his. Pressing back – _kissing_ – gasping into Shane’s mouth and winding his arms around his neck. 

AJ’s lips are so full and sweet, wet – he should have known AJ wasn’t a good boy, not with a mouth like that. 

“Oh God, I thought you never would,” he gasps, nuzzling against Shane’s face and pulling him in closer. 

“I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t have, AJ. I’m sorry-” 

AJ leans up to kiss him deeply again, using tongue and breathing through his nose, pulling Shane's head down to his so hard he nearly topples over on top of him. 

“Goddamn you, AJ,” Shane chokes out, roughly pushing him down onto the fancy chaise lounge behind them, scrambling over to bring their mouths together again. The younger man grunts in satisfaction and winds his fingers into Shane’s hair when they connect, Shane pushing his tongue into AJ’s mouth this time, taking in the shocked moan. He pushes AJ’s legs apart, palms scratching against the rough denim over his inner thighs, shoves the well-muscled shoulders down against the cushions, trying to get him to stop writhing around, jerking his hips up.

“Stay still, stay still and let me get to it…” he pants, holding AJ around the face, stroking it in desperation, tugging on a hoop earring. AJ stills to look up at him with dark blue eyes, mouth curving in an open-mouthed smile. His hips tip up slower, and his mouth looks so soft, so full and sweet, and Shane can’t take it - the hard warm body underneath him, this rough handsome boy that wants his badness. He pushes AJ down by the shoulders again and lets himself fall, pressing down against his hardness and kissing him sloppy. Over and over they press as they kiss, through AJ’s loose jeans - Shane feels almost numbed by how aroused he is at the man moaning into his mouth and rubbing, rubbing up against him so rough and slow it almost hurts.

It’s like violence. Nothing soft about this kind of loving, if that’s what it is, and he wants to watch – see the hardness he can feel pressing against him, catching against his, but he can’t stop kissing the boy now his tongue’s in his mouth, now he knows his taste. 

But he can touch. He rubs a hand down AJ’s body over this shirt, giving him the chance to flinch away, but AJ pushes up into it. Shane feels the slight give of his chest, the quick rise and fall of his breathing, stomach not completely hard with muscle. How it twists as he tilts his hips up against Shane’s in that slow grind. Shane’s fingertips stop at the top of the waistband, the skin just above lightly damp with sweat. He runs his fingers underneath the hem of AJ’s shirt, feels it. 

“ _Shane_ ,” AJ wrenches his mouth away and gasps against Shane’s cheek, realising what he’s thinking about, the part of him he wants to touch next. Please, please don’t let this be too far, please, Shane wishes. Just let me touch him, please. 

“Can I…” he asks, pausing to swallow, taking in AJ’s wide eyes. 

“It’s okay, baby - okay if you don’t want to; it’s alright,” he reassures, pushing down his lust. Taking his hand away and cradling AJ’s face again. 

His hand is pushed back down to the front of AJ’s jeans, against the metal button and zipper, thick clumsy fingers helping him to push metal through fabric, pull the fly down, breath panting heavy against his ear.

AJ reaches to cradle his jaw in those big hands while Shane pulls the opening of his jeans apart, looking down to see. He’s never seen another man’s arousal in person, and it’s so hot and indecent to see AJ like this, the soft grey cotton of AJ’s underwear stretched over his hard dick, wet spot not yet forming at the tip. It makes his mouth water. He dares to trace his shaking fingers against it, wanting to know what this feels like too, lightly touching the softness of his balls first, feeling how drawn-up they are already, how hot, running his fingertips across the seam between them. AJ grunts, tips his hips up again.

The only man Shane’s ever touched like this has been himself. He knows how it feels, how to make it good. He wants to rip AJ’s underwear down to see what’s inside, what AJ looks like hard, but makes himself go slow, not be greedy – slow while he touches here for the first time.

“This okay?” Shane whispers into his ear, lightly squeezing and caressing, hoping it is. AJ pushes his face against Shane’s neck, and bites – its own kind of consent. Shane opens his hand to palm AJ through the cotton completely, firmly rubbing with his whole hand and finally feeling the moisture drip out to soak through at the head as AJ tenses up, whining in his throat. Face still pressed between Shane’s neck and shoulder, waiting for more, winding his hips slightly, raunchy and sweating. Shane can smell the salt breaking out across his skin, licks a stripe across the muscle of his shoulder to taste. 

“Oh God, oh God, Shane,” AJ gasps out as Shane’s thumb finds the slit of his dick, coaxing more slick out and making him moan and shake. Shane tries to ignore the effect this is having on him too, and breathes across AJ’s cheek, “Ruining your own underwear now, huh? Won’t be able to wear these back home...” as AJ mewls loudly and curls up against Shane in reflex, hips flexing as he orgasms, liquid spreading against his underwear and the other man’s fingers.


End file.
